“I’m going first,” I demanded as J and I inched closer to the top of the tower and the entrance of the dreaded vertical water slide.
My owlet eyes gaped at the attendant as she unceremoniously folded arms over chests, checked to see legs were crossed and shoved people over the edge. Screams followed as each final flick of hair disappeared over the drop. I took a deep breath and marched to where she was seated. The water tugged at my ankles. I clutched the sides of the slide before whipping my arms across my chest as requested. Not even a glimmer of a smile of reassurance before she thrust me into the drop. I didn’t even have time to scream.
The YELLow Park
Ok. Confession time. J and I totally cheated our cheap budget diet. Just once! But we. We… bought a ticket to a waterpark. Siam Park to be specific.
It. Was. Totally. Worth. It.
We-I spent an entire day screaming my head off. J is apparently unphased by waterslide drops.
“Hey it’s all mechanics right? They have it all worked out. It’s designed to scare you not hurt you,” she shrugged.
This logic couldn’t stop me from gingerly dropping myself into the rafts and whiteknuckling the handles as we headed into each dip. I don’t think I reached the banshee volume of the ladies on the plane, but heck if I didn’t try.
Here’s a quick review of some of the rides.
The Dragon: by far my favourite ride in the park! The terrifying heights we reached! I was sure we were going to tip and go tumbling down into the next section.
Naga Racer: a six-lane racing slide.
The spray in your face will have you sputtering your victory shouts.
The (new) Singha: It had its up and downs. Literally. This was a massive change! Instead of constantly flying down the slide there were moments where you were thrust upward by powerful jets! This was the most rollercoast slide I’ve ever been on!
Mai Thai River: the world’s longest lazy river, which also has the highest elevation of any lazy river at eight meters (26 ft).
We had to do more work than I expected for a lazy river in some sections, but being able to ride a conveyor belt up to a higher level was awesome! First time I’ve ever pretended to be luggage successfully.
The change in pace to a quick-ish flow down a gentle-ish incline was fun, but left my butt a bit sore. I definitely appreciated floating through the shark tank though, that was crazy cool! Shark bellies galore! It was my second visit to the tank, but frankly my first pass was a bit lacking in the sights. Which brings me to…
Tower of Power: a vertical, slide which sends riders through a transparent tube inside a shark and stingray tank.
I was freaking out the whole way up. This was to be my first trip down one of these terrifically terrible slides.
I remember the only other attempt I had… I remember it well…
2006: something something o’hundred hours
My family and I were visiting Florida in the United States of America and we’d decided to throw in a visit to the local Wet And Wild waterpark. At one point my parents told my younger brother and I to go on ahead and explore on our own.
My brother promptly dove in with an audacious demand.
“We’re going to the rocket,” he stated as he pointed at what was surely a descendant of the Tower of Babel.
I looked up at the stairway to heaven. I gulped.
I followed him up to the top like a man headed for the gallows. There was no line because we were visiting in the winter. It turns out what we Canadians considered fine swimming weather was ghastly cold to the locals (many Universal Studio attendants the next day let out an adorable squeak when we told them what we’d been up to the ‘chilly’ day before).
“I’m going first!”
I glanced over the rail. We were hovering at plane altitude and I was expected to whip down a thin little slide with no cover?!
“I can’t do this.”
“Aw,” my brother moaned.
“I’ll watch you come down,” I said, hoping to appease him quickly by offering to be the bard witnessing and singing his grand achievement for years to come.
As I dashed down the stairs I found myself giddy with relief.
A few seconds after I’d skipped across the ground my brother came skidding down.
“How was it?” I asked as he wobbled out of the slide.
“Awesome! It was so funny!”
Laughing he explained what had traversed after I’d sheepishly fled.
Bro: “I went up to the rocket-shaped contraption hovering over the slide and the guy opened a panel and helped me into the tube. I stood on a trap door and the guy placed his hand on a lever.
Once I was comfy the guy decided to make conversation.
He said, ‘how are you?’
I replied, ‘I’m good and you?’
‘Good. Where you from?’
He finished his anecdote with the most triumphant smile you could fit on a boy.
2015: That time when it was the present
Which brings me back…
“Do it for the experience!” J laughed pushing me on as we climbed the stairs.
“Do it for the bragging rights!”
“Do it for your blog.”
“Do it for all Canadians!”
“Do it for me!”
My wide eyes must have reflected the terror in my heart.
“C’mon you can’t go now. We’re in the line and you have nothing to be afraid of the ride is totally safe!”
“I’m not afraid of the ride!” I squeeked. I pointed at the signs dotting the stairwell, “I’m afraid of myself! I’m afraid I’ll sit up so I can see and then bang my head on the tank!”
I flashed back to Wet And Wild.
2006: “Insert new witty spy novel joke”
In an attempt to regain my dignity I decided to convice myself to go on another ride instead of the tower.
It was a set of twisting slides.
I’m enclosed so I don’t have to worry about flying out/seeing anything.
I marched to the top, plopped myself at the entrance and dove into the slide.
It was a nightmare. It was dark. There were surprise drops. I couldn’t breathe through all the water in my nose and mouth. I was panicking.
I glimpsed a pinprick of light. The end! In my excitement I lifted my torso to reach for the sun.
Breaking free from the claustraphobic confides of the slide I slowly, blissfully slid to a stop. Through my vigorous head rubbing I briefly caught sight of the attendant shaking her head with visibly withdrawn vexation.
Luckily I didn’t get a concussion. THEN.
And we’re back. TO THE FUTURE. ^o^
Ok. This was it. This was it. This was it.
I tucked myself into the arms of the attendant and she did what she does best. I gracefully squacked my way over the dip and momentum took me hurdling downthechute,throughthesharktankandfinallyintothepool.
Next thing I knew I was swimming to the surface and teetered up the fake beach. I blink.
That was IT?
A tower of water shoots up as J is spat into the pool. She wades to my side.
“I forgot how boring that was,” she mumbles as she brushes away her hair.
With a cheeky, triumphant grin I reply, “I know right?!”
The “next challenge”????
Annddd I just came across this beauty. I don’t think I’ll ever visit Kansas, but if I’m ever in the area then yeah, I’ll totally sign myself up for riding this beast.